The double duty dad

He was absent for his son’s birth. He will miss his daughter’s birthday. And this Father’s Day, he will once again be away from home.

For SGT Lee O’Regan, being a Defence father means sometimes missing the moments that matter most.

In 2017, 77SQN recalled SGT O’Regan, an avionics technician, to support Operation Okra in the Middle East. His partner, FLTLT Tanya Smiljanic, was pregnant with their first child.

“I initially wanted to say no to deploying,” he said.

“But Tanya understood the importance of contributing to an operational deployment and supported me to go.”

The deployment became a defining moment in his career. For the first time, SGT O’Regan used his years of training and technical work in a real military effort.

“I felt I made a real contribution to the theatre campaign. I could see the real impact of my job, which was so fulfilling,” he said.

“But our son was born while I was away.”

It is a moment he cannot get back. Yet, the moments missed are not the measure of fatherhood.

Sometimes, the ordinary days reveal the most.

“I remember coming home from a long day of meetings, and my desire to talk and socialise is low on the best of days,” he said.

“But after picking the kids up from school and daycare, all they wanted to do was talk.

“All I could do was laugh.”

Like many working parents, SGT O’Regan has had to make choices about what comes next.

He put his studies on hold when balancing university, work and parenting became too much.

Years later, with encouragement from his chain of command and partner, he applied for the Lipshut Family Bursary. The scholarship allowed him to study full-time without the demands of normal duties, graduating with a degree in electrical and mechatronic engineering.

For SGT O’Regan, the competing demands of service and fatherhood are not always easy. Neither are they something he wishes away.

“It is all worth it. I look at the kids often and think how lucky we are,” he said.

He knows some moments will be missed, but he also knows there will be many more to come home to.